Been There, Done That, Again, and Again, and Once AGAIN!

                                                             Another LAST Surgery

                                                             Another LAST Surgery

Here we go again, one more time???!!! I guess when it comes to cancer and surgery, when the doctor says "last surgery", it might not always mean exactly that!  But, who's complaining right?  It is just another surgery to correct the first breast reconstruction surgery.  The right breast settled in perfectly due to the radiated skin being so tight... it was a perfect breast!  But, the left breast started to drop, the skin on my left side was looser and stretched more, so it turns out, the left breast dropped down an inch, and I wasn't okay with that... I mean, really, if I'm gonna have to have fake boobs, they better be perfect!

So, once again, July 23rd, 2018, I went in for my anesthesia nap.  I wonder if I'd have a lot of issues if I hated anesthesia?  I mean, I know it's not good for you, so I don't like it because of health reasons, but as far as how it makes me feel... I love that zoning out for 10 seconds, and then you wake up as if nothing happened.  I feel in complete surrender and trust, everything is perfect in that moment, life is good :).  But anyway, I was down for about an hour and a half, and woke up hearing those perfect words again, "the surgery went great!"  I was able to leave about 2 hours later, wrapped in bandages across my chest, some oxycodone, and a husband who was ready to take care of me.

Recovery is pretty fun for me now, because it is a guilt free, stay in bed, watch netflix, meditate, read, write, order people around, kind of vacation!  And for me, slowing down and doing almost nothing every day is a lot of work, but I am proud of myself for being able to have gotten the hang of it.  And, because I really think this surgery was the last one, I am trying to get the most out of this recovery as possible.  Which means, enjoying my time in, being able to sleep whenever I want, having people to drive me around, hanging out with my dog, and also, taking time to process everything I have been through.

What a year and a half it's been!  And as grateful I feel to be on this other side, this ending feels more like a beginning, and I feel like a 'new ME'.  I am sooooo excited to be on this new path of health again, being cancer free, AND developing Zero Negative in a BIG way.  I have picked out all of the new colors for the bags, designed some new styles, and am hoping to get the Zero Negative message out there in the world!  The newest style of Tote is going to be a 2 colored tote, black and white to start, to symbolize that there is always 2 sides to every situation, 2 sides to every story.  So, in regards to cancer, I looked at cancer as a blessing instead of a curse.  There was a positive spin on it, instead of a negative one, and I believe that led my journey to end on a positive note.  So my message to everyone listening... there is always light with a dark situation, and there's always a positive in a negative.  My belief, is that you focus on the GOOD stuff over the BAD stuff, then the good will grow and become bigger and the bad will end up being overpowered by the good.  And, I wouldn't have thought this to be true, until I experienced it first hand.  And lastly, I believe everything happens for a reason, and that reason is not to punish us, but to help us grow to our fullest potential as a human being.  So, if that's the case, then it would help everyone to see their situation as a blessing and not a curse, and in relation to cancer, that cancer is not a death sentence, but a journey to a better place?!  

“The tougher the situation, the stronger you will become”
— Anonymous

So, I invite you to think of your situation now, or in the past, something you went through that was really tough... play around with how you perceived it... and try on different perspectives!  You can write your story the way you want to write it, and you can see everything through LOVE or through FEAR.  I LOVE being in control of writing my story, and I hope I can inspire just one person (hopefully more) to change their story to help better their outcome.  And that's my story for now, take it or leave it :)

xoxo Jenn