Getting Through Cancer & Chemo
For the Caregiver: It’s essential to stay calm right from the start. The patient, especially in the beginning, will be at their most anxious and, naturally, will be looking for someone to feel worried with them. It’s important to let them be anxious, showing compassion and understanding, but to not lean into their anxiousness. Think of it like a math equation. One anxious person, plus one pretending not to be anxious, will equal a less anxious couple. Two anxious people will equal a really anxious couple, getting more anxious by the hour. Focus on the energy you want to create, not the energy that could be toxic and destructive.
For the Caregiver and Patient:
Health Insurance: The policy with the most expensive monthlies might be the most financially advantageous one in the long run. Also, make sure you have your policy for at least six to twelve months longer than the treatment.
Doctor Referrals: Ask friends for referrals and then make sure you get a couple of opinions. You might be in a rushed situation, but go with your gut.
Facility: Check ahead as to where and how chemotherapy/radiation will be administered and what to expect. This obviously applies to the medical facility where all potential surgeries will take place.
Support Team: Try to enlist friends and family to help you divide up the many responsibilities in your journey. Determine upfront who will be in charge of what and make sure protocols are assigned to those team players.
Finances: Research upfront what procedures, medications, and surgeries are covered under your insurance and what you will have to pay out of pocket.
Availability: To ensure your patient never misses a beat, you may have to make alternative plans regarding your job/career.
Clothing: Stock up on beanies, scarves, gloves—I lived in fingerless ones—warm fuzzy sweaters, and comfy sweats. The softer, the better for your sensitive skin. For wigs, go with your bestie—for their honest opinion—before losing your hair, and, if you can, get a couple of different looks to add an element of fun and variety.
Necessities: Moisturizing hand and body lotion, cuticle cream, face cream with SPF, lozenges for nausea, an eye mask for napping, and hand sanitizers.
Community: Writing letters or emails and having friends to talk to was extremely helpful for both of us. Externalizing your feelings relieves interior pressures.
Start a Routine: Better nutrition, meditation, yoga, healers, acupuncture, walking, napping, listening to music, drawing, reading, and writing. This is your time to do what YOU want to do.
Journaling: Whether you record what you are grateful for—or sometimes what you’re not grateful for—it can be very cathartic. Plus, you never know what you might learn about yourself . . . or about life.
Mindset: You were chosen to go through this journey. Look for the lessons, surrender to the ride, and focus on the positives.